How to stay firm (and kind) when your team take advantage
Being the kind of leader who’s approachable and supportive, without becoming the kind of leader people start to take advantage of, is a tricky balance. But when attendance starts to spiral (or worse – when people openly flout the rules because they think there won’t be consequences), it’s time to take action.
See these moments as opportunities
The good news is that moments like this can actually be useful. They offer a good opportunity to use it as a public example and have a team-wide reset.
If you find yourself in this position (when things have gone too far), gather your team and call things out directly. Say something that keeps things firm but fair:
‘I much prefer being a kind, approachable manager. But it has come to my attention that some of you are taking advantage of this. The minority have ruined it for the majority, and so from here on in, we are going to need to follow full HR procedure with all absences and sickness.’
And for the foreseeable future…
The aim going forward is to be a very kind, very approachable manager who's also a stickler for the rules. Framing it as a fairness issue might help – if someone asks for you to work around the rules, kill them with kindness. 'I'm so sorry, but we really need to make sure everything is fair around here'.
Because you don't want to feel as though it's rules for rules' sake, you should find reasons why you need to do it. Initially, it might be that 'HR have noticed high absenteeism in our department', and as time goes on, you can find other reasons, such as keeping track of performance, so that you are asking for enough budget, etc.
In terms of punishment…
When it comes to individual cases, it’s only worth acting on if there’s concrete evidence. If not, don’t feel pressure to pursue it directly. The fact that your team will likely know whose behaviour contributed to the rule changes will often be enough of a consequence in itself.
The key here is showing that kindness and accountability can absolutely coexist, and that maintaining a fair, consistent approach is part of what makes you a strong, supportive leader in the first place.
3 resources to help with a team that are pushing their luck:
Correcting bad behaviour before it gets out of hand: Dealing with bad behaviour when you have evidence
How to deal with jerks at work: 5 great techniques
Managing employees that don’t respect you: tips and ideas
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