How to handle a boss who just wants agreement
I spoke to someone recently who worked for a leader who only wanted agreement – they needed a ‘yes man’, not someone who brings ideas or challenges. It was the classic tale of a boss who isn't open to a variety of opinions. The worst part is that this is quite common and can be catastrophic. At its worst, it creates significant blind spots for the boss and the company. The bigger picture answer is, 'there shouldn't be bosses like that!' but sadly, there are, and then it's working out what to do about them. So what can be done when the person at the top doesn’t want to hear ‘no’?
How to get the boss to listen
Confronting this kind of problem head-on rarely goes down well, especially if the boss is already wary of challenging opinions. The best way to win across a leader who is hostile to other ideas isn't with just data – research shows influence at all levels is about building a really good, warm relationship first, and then you can put your point across. So if you don’t like your boss, you may need to swallow everything in you that makes you feel like that and work really hard to get them to like you. Compliments, praise and admiration (as long as it's not spotted as being insincere) can be very useful here! So keep doing what they ask and showing an interest in them. And then, when you have them around to liking you, you can start to share your concerns and ideas. This can take a while, but it's worth the effort.
What if they still won't listen?
If this doesn't work because either you can't warm them up, or they are still stubbornly stuck on their own opinion, then there's one more option – but it's a punchy one and can backfire. The option is to speak to their boss.
You need to be entirely OK with the idea of leaving by this point, because if it goes wrong, and their boss reports back to them, or doesn't think there is a problem, then you may not be welcome at the table anymore! (Yes, there are all sorts of things HR would say about not being pushed out and how the boss should act, but the reality of having 'told tales' on your boss will likely be different). But if your boss' boss is sensible and sensitive, they may find ways to tell your boss that they need to pay attention to dissident views.
None of this is easy or quick, but it will allow you to find out where you stand and take action accordingly!
Three resources to help with building good relationships with your boss:
How to influence someone senior to you: link to another blog article on this topic
Questions to ask to align with your boss: 7 questions to work out their priorities
How to suggest alternatives to your boss: how to say no to their ideas
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